I've been avoiding posting for a long time. So I feel like it's overdue but I don't know. To be honest, things aren't super great. I try to be mostly positive when I'm on Facebook, because I know how it is when you're seeing a bunch of negative shit on social media. But...this is a blog, and if you're reading this then you had to actually click on the link to read it (which I appreciate by the way...). I'm still writing the story and am finding the experience enjoyable. The only way I can overlook the self doubt (which is very much present as we speak and its telling me that I am KIDDING MYSELF COMPLETELY TRYING TO BE AN AUTHOR. I won't listen because its fun to write fiction. Its cathartic. And I feel like its the one thing that I've wanted to do since childhood that I feel I am most naturally talented at. Which isn't to say the writing talent is a unique thing, I don't think it is. I just think that most people don't heed the call. I've been afraid to for a long time, because I was afraid I suck. And maybe I do. But its fun...and I know sometimes there's at least a few bits that I know are good.
But it's hard. PSU already rejected me for grad school way back in February...didn't even get an interview. Haven't heard from Lewis and Clark...final decision is in April. But I haven't got an email about an interview so its pretty much a no. Just waiting for official word. There's one more grad school I wrote off but I can still apply to so I'll probably do that. Other than that its just a matter of waiting and applying to different grad schools this year for fall 2017. I'm gonna be persistent...I'm not quitting till somebody lets me in. I mean I'm decent on paper. Got like a 3.7 GPA cumulative, and graduating with some honors, and I've got intern experience. It's likely eventually I'll get in somewhere. And that's all I need. A foot in the door. To get the degree and get my hours and get my license. But it's hard man. And it hurts. Especially when you've already got self doubt issues.
But...we keep going. In the words of that other Robert Frost line that we all know:
"In three words I can sum up everything I know about life: it goes on."