Friends. What to say about friends that I haven’t already said somewhere else? I’ve written a lot of songs about troubles with friends (all based on real things). And of course there’s the ever popular Facebook vent post. Which I’ve done a time or two (perhaps more but I don’t care to recall). There was a lot of friend drama in 2017 for me. A lot of drama period. Although drama isn’t the word I want. It undermines the true emotion. There was a lot of broken promises, broken hearts. There’s a lot of scars. That isn’t over dramatization. There is such a thing as emotional scars, as anyone with PTSD will tell you. Or anyone who has a reasonable amount of emotional intelligence will tell you. These things I keep vague because I have to, and because I want to. I’m still friends with all those friends. I don’t regret doing so. That doesn’t mean that they are all friends with each other anymore, which they were before. Which is unfortunate, but entirely understandable. Of course this complicates things, and it also destroys a core friendship that we all shared that I deeply enjoyed, and that comes so rarely in our lives; especially as high school grows further and further in the rear view. I guess there’s just a lot to mourn this year. It’s that awful feeling that comes when you arrive at a fork in the road; where there is no correct answer, there is just one choice over another. And you’re at that point in your life when there’s no one to help you decide, or at the point when you realize there never really was. People can say “this worked for me, or that worked for me,” but you have to satisfy that inner voice inside of you, and the only that can hear that is you. You can try to describe to people what you hear, but in the end everyone has their own agendas, and you have to follow that voice until the end. We all do. To borrow a tired phrase; it’s a lonely road. And we walk alone. 

Friends. What to say about friends that I haven’t already said somewhere else? I’ve written a lot of songs about troubles with friends (all based on real things). And of course there’s the ever popular Facebook vent post. Which I’ve done a time or two (perhaps more but I don’t care to recall). There was a lot of friend drama in 2017 for me. A lot of drama period. Although drama isn’t the word I want. It undermines the true emotion. There was a lot of broken promises, broken hearts. There’s a lot of scars. That isn’t over dramatization. There is such a thing as emotional scars, as anyone with PTSD will tell you. Or anyone who has a reasonable amount of emotional intelligence will tell you. These things I keep vague because I have to, and because I want to. I’m still friends with all those friends. I don’t regret doing so. That doesn’t mean that they are all friends with each other anymore, which they were before. Which is unfortunate, but entirely understandable. Of course this complicates things, and it also destroys a core friendship that we all shared that I deeply enjoyed, and that comes so rarely in our lives, especially as high school grows further and further in the rear view. I guess there’s just a lot to mourn this year. It’s that awful feeling that comes when you arrive at a fork in the road, where there is no correct answer, there’s just one choice over another. And you’re at that point in your life when there’s no one to help you decide, or at the point when you realize there never really was. People can say “this worked for me, or that worked for me,” but you have to satisfy that inner voice inside of you, and the only that can hear that is you. You can try to describe to people what you hear, but in the end everyone has their own agendas, and you have to follow that voice until the end.